I must have been crazy

I want to give a round of applause to all the parents who have more than 3 kids. I’m exhausted. I mean crap. J hasn’t started his ESY yet and all three kids are home. J needs routine. He needs structure. School gives that to him. It keeps his brain occupied and challenges him. I do not have that kind of structure at home. It’s like half a structure. I’ve never promised structure. I mean we have a routine. But I don’t have blocked out time for him to have structured play. I can’t sit and do things like that. Not with 3. There’s to much going on.

 I wake up every morning and think I’m nuts for having 3. I love them. I love them a lot. I love J and hi sweet smile and infectious laughter. I love A and her sassy bossy mini me nature. I love E and her I’m not a potato but a baby with a personality. But I sometimes wonder if I can handle them all. All their needs. It’s a constant worry if I’m enough. We’re such a busy family. Always on the go. Always something going on. There is always something going on. I sometimes think I can’t juggle all the needs. I am just one person. Did I stretch myself too thin? I can’t go back, only forward. I take each day one at a time. Otherwise I drive myself crazy. 

I’m trying to potty train my 4.5 yr old non verbal autistic son, while breastfeeding my 3 month old daughter, while telling my 2.5 yr old daughter not to destroy the playroom and my house. And that’s on a day with no therapies, doctors appointments, fun play dates or playgroups. I love my kids but I love that my son starts his ESY on Monday. He needs it. I need it. That leaves me outnumbered by 1 instead of 2. I really admire the homeschool moms. I’m not sure what J and I would do if I had to homeschool. We’d probably drive each other crazier than we do now. Lol!!

I really do applaud the parents of more kids. I literally have no idea how you do it without going bonkers. Major kudos!

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